We All Need Each Other

A few weeks ago I was running in a nearby park. This park has a path that stretches for miles, but a small section is interrupted by a neighbourhood. It was here that I happened to be, on a lovely warm fall evening.

Still on the path, I ran up a short but steep hill that precedes this neighbourhood. At the top, I noticed an elderly woman walking by herself. She had stopped some university students, asking them where a certain street was. The students tried to explain that it was some distance from where she was, and they were as helpful as they could be in directing her to her destination.

In an instant, I realized this woman needed more help than just directions. I approached her (as well as another young woman who had a cell phone). After asking her some basic questions including the phone number to call home, it confirmed my suspicion. This dear woman had some form of serious memory loss.

Eventually I was able to contact a daughter who was going to pick her up, as well as locate her father who I suspected had similar memory issues. I assured the daughter I would stay with her mother until she arrived.

During those minutes that we stood together, it was a very humbling experience. She felt humiliated that this had happened, and fearful that she would lose her freedom. She was so grateful I was there, and even put her arms around to hug and thank me. I reassured her that none of this was her fault and that we was doing the best she could. We both cried a little.

Then her daughter came, and whisked her off..

As I resumed my run, I wept. So many emotions went through me in a matter of moments. I feel them now, weeks later as I write this post.

It brought feelings up of my own mother, who is also living with dementia. The vulnerability, the frustration and the fear that comes with the realization that the memory is slipping away. The poignant fragility of life when something as precious as our minds begins to leave us forever.

It made me think of the daughter, and how I could so relate to the alarm in her voice on the phone, in both the tears of relief and frustration as she hugged her mother upon arrival. I've been there many times and in many different ways. There is no road map here as one cares for a parent at this stage of life. It is such a bitter sweet experience.

It reminded me of how much we need each other in this lifetime.  It calls me to be there for others, even if I don't always know the answer or do the right thing. 


I just have to try. 

Namaste. _/l\_

The Sweet Spot

While thinking about my title for this post, the words 'sweet spot' came to mind. Defined as "an area or range that is most effective or beneficial", the image of Goldilocks popped into my head, sampling all three porridges and settling on the one that was just- right.  I was quite amused when I came across the same analogy in a blogpost titled "How to Discover Your Sweet Spot" (Psychology Today).

In the article (referenced at the bottom of this page) Dr Seltzer also states "it's about doing, or not doing, that which in any particular situation is optimal for you. And knowing what's personally "just right" isn't a trait you're born with. Nor is it a matter of intuition.  Such knowledge can only be gained through experience, and carefully analyzing the meaning of your experience".

In this busy life of ours, I think we're often trying to find that 'sweet spot', that place of balance that helps us feel at ease with ourselves and life around us. But it's often elusive because life is always shifting, moving, changing. Life is dynamic, and so are we. Sometimes, we need to ease back on the throttle of life in some way or other, other times we need to ramp it up. And often we don't know we're in balance until we're out of balance. But even though we can't really nail it down,  I think it's a worthwhile exercise to ponder and question our thoughts, and actions. And to just observe what contributes to that feeling of being balanced- or not.  Awareness really is the key in helping to understand this.

Yoga is a perpetual inquiry about ourselves in this way. When we come to the mat, we bring a curiosity and sensitivity to our bodies and our minds. We become increasingly insightful as we continually 'tune in' through the asanas and breath. We test ourselves, finding our 'edge'- noticing what happens when we effort too much, or not enough. And in that practice, I think we also become more skilled at bringing that awareness into our lives on a daily basis, that ultimately helps us to find balance in many ways.

So- finding your 'just right porridge' may take a little time and practice but like Dr Seltzer says "for what ultimately, could be more satisfying- or "sweeter" than perfecting your knowledge of your very own, custom-tailored sweet spot"?

And I say- yoga might just help along the way...

Namaste. _/l\_

*** https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/201202/how-discover-your-sweet-spot